I just realize that people around you can strongly influence you. Some, can bring the worst out of you, tainted you, bent you, broke you..
That people can change you, your way of doing things, your way of thinking, your way of seeing the world and others..
That people can manipulate you unknowingly, make you pushed away friends n family who care deeply for u, all for them,which actually for nothing
Until you finally left out without nothing to hold on to, not even someone to talk to bcoz you jave already had too much secrets n pushed others so far away
But blinded with something that you thought was love, you keep moving forward n forward, hoping that your pray n hardwork will someday be paid off
Yet,it's not something that can be reached with only one sided of pray n hardwork. You need blessings from others, friends n family..
Then you realize that actually it wasn't love,coz love can only bring friends n families together even tighter,not pushing u away from those..
But it's already too late. You've already fallen so deep. Brought so much shame,pain,n misunderstanding on you,while u hv noone support you
That's what you have to paid for not listening to friends n family who love you..
Shouldering alone such shame n grieving as your atonement
Even after atoning for your mistake,the mistake that's already been made couldn't be erase,n the way people look at you could never be changed
However,what else left but to keep moving forward while trying to straighten yourself back to how it should be?
And praying that someday, your friends n family will forgive you n accept you back....
And keep praying that someday, someone worth of all your devotion, hardwork n love will show up, then lead you to a happy life n a good afterlife..
