Wondering..

I wonder.. What is dream?
Something that you desire?
Something that you must get?
Or something that you can let go but hardly can be forgotten?

I wonder... What is family?
The one who share blood with you?
The one who always care for you,
Or the one who always quarrel with you?

I wonder... What is friendship?
Something to treasure in it's peak time,
and throw away when I am far away?
Someone to be pleased and to be with in leisure time?
or someone to be cried on in the saddest time?

I wonder... What is life?
sad life? happy life?
While the borders between them is as thin as hair.

I wonder... What is love?
Enjoyable or heartbroken thing?
Isn't it stupid to feel happy and sad in the same time?
Aware with fashion and stuff?
Questioning yourself..
Uncomfortable.. Insecure.. Jealous?

I wonder... What is faith?
Something to believe when you, yourself know that you are still seeking about it?
Or just wanna take it easy,
Know nothing and believe in blindly?

I wonder.. Who Are You?
A Friend? An Enemy? A Stranger? A partner?
Doubt and Doubt.
Trying to protect my fragile heart.
Every single pieces that might remain,
after the calamity that came.

And I, too wonder... Who Am I?
Who makes me, -ME- now..
Who shape me as -ME- now..
Is it my dream, my family, my friends,
Is it life, love, faith,
Or, IS IT YOU...?

NOTE: 
I wrote this bcoz i confused with myself. i thought i know who i am and what i wanna do in my life. i thought i was mature enough. i thought i could always keep up with my decision. i thought i wouldnt confuse anymore. but I WAS WRONG. i ,still am, confusing about myself. what is my attention? what do i want? how could i reach both my idealism and dream? how could i communicate what i want to my family? what do my family want from me? what do i want from myself? i'm still thinking about it. in one side, my dream, to become A DOCTOR. the other side, i think about my PARENTS and my duty to succeed their business, to be A GREAT ENTREPRENEUR. my idealism... i wanna help other people. as much as my hand can reach. that's why i wanna be a doctor. to help others. however, i know i can still help other people by being a great entrepreneur. maybe not directly like a doctor helping patients, but still, there are huge possibilities i can help more people indirectly by offering more jobs. many people would depend on it. especially for a big country like Indonesia, i could at lease increasing job opportunity. you see, there are bunch of reason why i should go on and become an entrepreneur. and less reason to be a doctor. i dont have any offense for it. i just wanna say: you dont really need a reason for cashing your dreams, rite? It is A DREAM, after all, no logic reason behind it. hhhhuuuuuuuuu... this is the last time. i hav to come up with my final decision soon. cant turn back anymore...